When we think about birth trauma, we might think that it’s only the person going through the birth that can actually experience birth trauma. They are the one going through the experience so it can only be them right? Actually, that’s not the case.

The effects can be so much wider than many people imagine. Firstly we might consider the effects on the baby. If the baby comes into the world a little battle warn, does that have an effect? If a baby is taken away for essential special care and is away from mum or dad for a prolonged period, how does that affect them? We know that the hormone of love Oxytocin is released when a baby cuddles skin to skin with mum or dad, so If this opportunity isn’t available, what are the long term effects? If the basic need for security isn't fulfilled, does this leave markers of trauma in the baby’s nervous system? Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby (1907-90) said yes. He said that early separation from a primary caregiver can have negative consequences on a baby’s emotional and social development.

And what about the partner that witnesses their loved ones going through an experience that might be life threatening. They might feel completely helpless at the time and yet there is so much expectation on the partner to hold it all together for the person going through the actual birth. When they return home, while mum might be struggling with her own trauma outcomes, the partner might be having to hide how they are affected, because what right do they have to be complaining when they didn't go through it. Except they did, because the trauma isn’t the physical event that happened, in the words of Gabor Mate, ‘it’s what happens inside of us’. And so if the partner feels the life of his partner is at risk or they might lose their baby during labour and birth, then that is more than enough to leave them traumatised.

Finally, what about the medical team? If they are trying their best, but time and again, they are overstretched, short staffed, tired. They see what is happening, but they don’t have the resources to do better. They might see colleagues stretched thin and snapping, perhaps coercing the birth along, because there are five other women in labour and they just don’t have the resources to let mum breath through her contractions today. By pushing mum, her neocortex is activated and contractions stop and so interventions are required to progress labour and birth. This isn’t why she became a midwife. The system is understaffed and she tries her best day after day. She’s desperate to leave but knows if she does that’s one less midwife trying to hold space for birthing mothers. So maybe there is an acceptance of the medical protocol. What happens to the professionals? They continue to try to hold this day after day. This is called vicarious trauma.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to stop the trauma happening, instead of having to keep having to pick up the broken people that it happens to.

In summary, we can see that many people can experience birth trauma, not just the birthing person. If you think that you might have experienced birth trauma, when you were a baby, as a partner, as a Doula or Midwife or other health professional, I offer trauma informed counselling and you can contact me through my website melsspace.com to book an appointment. If you want to know how you can start to heal from birth trauma, my blog How To Start Healing From Trauma tells you how to start your recovery. While this blog is worded with the birthing person in mind primarily, the approach is the same for anyone who has experienced birth trauma.